My parents took me to my cousin’s wedding. I wore my brother’s oversized suit for it. The sleeves came down all the way to the end of my thumb. I had my first facial hairs and I was excited.

We got in the car and Mom saw my whiskers in the rearview mirror. She said we gotta get you a razor blade before we go in public. Dad said we could use his pocket knife and Mom said no your dull blade won’t cut it.

We stopped at the Walgreens on our way out of town. They were out of men’s razor blades. She walked us down the aisle to the women’s razor blades. They were out of them, too.

We went to CVS. No men or women’s razor blades, either.

We hurried into the Cheney’s Pharmacy, but no razor blade. She bought some cigarettes.

Mom said we’ll find one in Jackson. We stopped at the Wendy’s drive-thru before we got on the highway. We ordered three Junior Bacon Cheeseburgers, three small fries, three medium Coca-Colas, and a razor blade from the kid’s meal. The razor blade was plastic.

We drove down the highway and ate our food. I hoped Mom forgot about the razor blade. She said stop at that McDonald’s. We ordered some ice cream and she asked if they had a razor blade. They said their ice cream machine was broken and they had no razor blades.

We stopped at Dollar Tree, Family Dollar, Dollar General, no razor blade. Piggly Wiggly, Big Star, Cash Saver, no razor blade.

We got closer to town and went in Wal-Mart. Surely they have one here, Mom said, they have everything. But no razor blade. We stopped at Kroger’s, Target, Publix. Nope, no razor blade.

Dad said hurry up, we’re gonna be late. We stopped at Sear’s, J.C. Penny, Belk, T.J. Maxx, Tuesday Morning, Dilliard’s, Marshall’s. No razor blade.

I was telling my friend this story and finally he asked, Did y’all ever find a razor blade?

And I said, Do you see any whiskers on my face?